🌻Meet-cute, part II
How Anna & Andy got together
When we last saw Andy and Anna together, they were walking together through the hall of flags at O’Hare airport before parting ways with a “keep in touch!” Anna would soon realize this would be impossible without hiring a private detective to track down the elusive Mr. Funk.
Months passed. School started. I made some new friends. We made a habit of rounding up as many students as possible for Friday happy hour each week. My favorite East Lansing spot was Crunchy’s, because there was a chance that after happy hour, people would stay for dinner, and after dinner, karaoke. (I love karaoke.)
At one of these extended happy hours at Crunchy’s, I spot him. Just a table away: Andy Funk! He’s sitting with three girls in a booth. I remember leaning over to C.Z. and pointing him out, as if my friend will be equally excited to see this random dude again after meeting briefly at recruitment weekend six or more months prior. “Look, C.! It’s Andy Funk! From recruitment!!”
In this moment, I have no intentions of dating him or marrying him or pursuing any illicit things some 20-somethings might have in mind on a Friday night at the bar. My only thought is: “I won’t let him get away again!” So I march over, craft beer sloshing in my stomach. After very briefly confirming that he remembers me, I request (demand?) his phone and put my number in it.
Triumphant, I march directly back to my friends. As I recall, I didn’t flirt, or ask him to meet up later, or anything of the sort — my mission was simply to exchange contact information. As soon as it was accomplished, I just walked away.
I think we texted once, but never made any plans. Perhaps it was something like “I’m having a party and will let you know when it is, you should come” followed by no further details. I didn’t think much of it at the time.
Later that semester, I meet a cute boy at a Halloween party, dressed as my worst nightmare. (It wasn’t exactly Frank the Bunny from Donnie Darko, but it was indeed a scary bunny man, which counts.) We start dating.
A few more months pass. Boyfriend and I go to a beer festival with some friends (a very regular occurrence in mid-Michigan). We meet up with another friend at the festival, and who does he have in tow? Andy Funk! I have a moment of panic, thinking won’t this be so awkward before remembering that 1. literally no one in attendance except for me knows about the formerly-harbored feelings and 2. I am standing next to my boyfriend, who I am very happy with. There is literally no conflict here. Phew.
We make friends. In fact, I remember noting how well Boyfriend and Andy hit it off. We’re all friends! Yay!
Andy invites us to a barbeque at his place, outside his Lansing apartment complex. We eat bacon-wrapped venison (another fairly regular occurrence in mid-Michigan) brought by our mutual friend, and are eaten alive by mosquitoes. I, the field ecologist, have zero tolerance for outdoor discomfort on my day off, and head out to go buy some bug spray, since no one seems to have any. Andy offers to go with me.
(If I recall correctly, he offers to drive too, making this my first ride in the ol’ Accord.)
In the car, Andy takes the opportunity to tell me how he really feels: He says he’s sorry for ghosting me after our Crunchy’s encounter, and sees now that we could have been friends sooner. Turns out, the girls he was with that night (lab mates) convinced him that I was overly forward and, quote, “wanted to get in his pants.” But Andy didn’t want that, so that’s why he never called. But as soon as he met Boyfriend, he knew he didn’t have to worry about that, and so was sorry he didn’t give our friendship a chance sooner. I forgive him, of course, feeling more definitively friend-zoned than I ever have in my life, but not minding given my current relationship status. Either way, the message was received loud and clear: Andy was not even remotely interested, even when I had been single. No problem.
More months pass. Andy has moved to his blue cape cod on Park Ave. And he’s rounding up a crew to play Dungeons and Dragons. Most of us have never played — not seriously, at least — but Andy talks it up, and it sounds like a fun way for a bunch of already-nerds to hang out. So Boyfriend, three other friends, Andy, and I begin to meet regularly for dinner, drinks, and D&D. We just love it so much, and Andy is a great DM (“dungeon master”), host, and cook.
More months — maybe even a year — pass. The spark between Boyfriend and I has begun to fade and fizzle. There’s no fight, no drama, just a long stretch of slow decline. One day we finally look at each other and say “is this still good for you? No? Me neither” (paraphrased) and decide to part ways. It’s the most amicable breakup I’ve ever had.
(Part ways, relationship-wise, that is. We both remain fully committed to Andy’s D&D campaign, obviously.)
Now, it so happens that this breakup comes the day before my birthday party — a big bash I’ve planned for myself on Allen Street. The theme is “the internet” and I’m dressing as Jenna Marbles. I’ve made a YouTube playlist of all the best most classic videos — Charlie the Unicorn, Potter Puppet Pals, Charlie Bit Me, and the like — which we’ll have up on repeat all night.
» Good gravy, this playlist still exists. Behold: The Best of YouTube (as of 2014)(I know what I’m watching this weekend).
My bestie D.M. has watercolored (!) a bunch of memes for decor and made me a Nyan Cat cake (legendary). But I don’t want the breakup to be the talk of the party, so exBoyfriend and I decide to keep it a secret till afterward. We decide he’ll come to the party still, and we can easily avoid each other if we feel like we need to.
(The only other costumes I remember from the night were He Man singing What’s Up, Hannah Hart, and Old Gregg. Yes, Andy painted his face army green, wore a pink tutu, and walked around with a bottle of Bailey’s. Did he have a mop on his head, too? I’ll have to go back to the photos.)
Operation: Don’t talk about the breakup is highly successful, but with just one hiccup. Sitting around the firepit late that night, Andy looks at me with a very concerned look on his green face and says, "Anna, I have a problem... I'm the tiniest bit completely in love with you, and I don't know what to do about it."
In quick succession my mind races through 1. Huh?! to 2. I guess that makes sense, to 3. I would marry you, to 4. Don’t blow the breakup cover!!!
I am totally stumped. He’s not asking for anything, rather is truly apologizing for this inconvenience. I try to punt the whole conversation, begging him to keep his voice down, and telling him we can talk about this later. Somehow I flee the scene. Andy, of course, takes this as an outright rejection, which he had expected, given that I was supposed to be dating someone.
I spend the rest of the night absolutely buzzing. I was certain that I’d turn down a date with anyone for some time, being fresh out of a relationship and all. But this was Andy. At the same time, I didn’t want anyone, especially exBoyfriend, to get the wrong idea. Quick relationship turnarounds are typically met with suspicion, even when there’s no actual cheating (see Olivia Roderigo’s “traitor” if you need a refresher). But this was Andy.
That Sunday, Andy reaches out and says he wants to apologize for his behavior at the party. He invites me out for a beer at the Green Door, another one of our local haunts. We go. He apologizes for drinking too much Bailey’s and any subsequent belligerence. He doesn’t mention our fireside conversation.
Walking out, I try to bait him, telling him that Boyfriend and I broke up, but Andy is impressively stoic. We walk over to our friend’s house to help him move, then all end back at Green Door together. Still nothing. We all go home to our respective houses.
Twenty minutes later, my phone rings. It’s Andy. Am I still up? I am not. I lie. He comes over, and we sit and talk for a few hours. He still doesn’t acknowledge his love confession and I’m not sure why I let it hang for so long, but finally he says something hinting enough that I bring it up. Honestly, I think he didn’t quite remember until I jogged his memory. But he confirmed that it was true.
We didn’t start dating then — in fact I’m not sure when we really did. It was an intentionally slow ramp-up from there. We went together to a Prom Party, and actually got each other a corsage and boutonniere, but we still weren’t anything official then. My field season started soon thereafter, so I moved out to Augusta, MI (about an hour away from Lansing — the Brook Lodge house for KBS-ers) for the summer. Andy brought me a flower once when he came to visit, which I kept in a mason jar on the coffee table. We had our first kiss in that house, and it's the approximate date of that event that we’ve decided can be our “anniversary.”
And they all lived happily ever after the end!
✌️
P.S. That D&D campaign we started in 2013 lives on today. We’ve had some starts and stops, but are in the same world, fighting the same major evil. We played last Friday.
P.P.S. I am very thankful I wrote a very long detailed email to my friend A.L. in summer 2014 telling him this story. It’s nice to have the in-the-moment recounting to fact check my memory!
Omg so glad to hear how this all ended working out! Way more dramatic than I was expecting, but it ended up happy so that's all that matters 😁 So cool that you're still doing D&D too after all these years!
It's so nice to get your story write-up of this, because I got basically nothing about it from Andy, AND I WAS LIVING WITH HIM AT THE TIME