[Bonus] Song-by-Song, First-Listen, Taylor Swift Review

Swifties only

Here's my first-listen-ever, zero-nostalgia, brutally-honest Taylor Swift review. Studio albums only. For context I'll include release date alongside my age (b. Apr 17, 1989) and Taylor's age (b. Dec 13, 1989). Let’s do this/

Taylor Swift (Oct 2006)

My age: 17
Taylor's age: 16

Tim McGraw. Oh right we're full-on country. No problem. This is a fine country song. I wonder how many people have danced to this at their wedding. 

Picture to Burn. Lol. Ok. But I think I would have liked this when I was 10, you know? Put this on my 1999 playlist alongside "One for Sorrow."

Teardrops on my Guitar. Haven't heard this in sooo long. I am absolutely transported to my dorm bathroom. Drew! Lol. Poor sad Taylor. Again, maybe if I was 10, not 18, I would've enjoyed this and not rolled my eyes. This song is pretty bad for my taste.

A Place in this World. Ok this one's a little better. A little Michelle Branch. Big Disney Channel Original Movie vibes. Lizzy McGuire could sing this.

Cold As You. “You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray" lolol. Ok now that I'm thinking "Michelle Branch" I'm getting a little more on board with the vibe. This song is fine.

The Outside. Wait, is she, or is she not, on the outside? Unclear. Regardless I like this one.

Tied Together with a Smile. Nice to have a slow one that's not about a boy! I like this one too. Ope nevermind got to the second verse, this is about a boy too. "Leaves you out like a penny in the rain"? Is that a thing people say??

Stay Beautiful. Cory!? What about Drew!? It's ok, I'm glad she's moved on. This one is really pushing it on cheesiness for me but I'll live.

Should've Said No. Oh I know this one! This one's solid. Maybe a dash of Carrie Underwood (I barely know enough to say that)? Vibe feels a little cheerful for the subject matter but I'll let it slide.

Mary's Song (Oh My My My). Uh oh, Mary's going to die, isn't she? Wait no, we are falling in love with Mary??? I had to start the track over, I guess Mary is the one narrating ("She said...") Anyway this is a nice practice run for Love Story. What makes that song so much better than this one, I wonder? 

Our Song. More boys. Eh, this one doesn't do anything for me. 

I'm Only Me When I'm With You. Ok remember what I said about boys being her whole personality? This song title says it all. However: This one is bringing it for me. Easy favorite. 🤘 (omg the Hannah Montana "yeah" at the end hehe)

Invisible. In love with the boy who she doesn't know, claiming she's better for him than his actual girl? Eh, nahhh.

A Perfectly Good Heart. This one's fine. Prob some of the stronger lyrics on this album.

Teardrops on My Guitar - pop version. Oh goodie, roll it back! Man, this song. Lol.

Album review: This isn't nearly as cheesy overall as I expected. Teardrops on My Guitar is definitely the worst song. It's all fairly juvenile but she was literally a teenager, so I’ll give her a pass. If you were 10 when this came out, I 100% get it. 

Favorite song: I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Fearless (Nov 2008)

My age: 19
Taylor's age: 18 

Fearless. Still country. Same vibe as the last album. We're in a car with a boy and what could be better than this? Ngl I'm disappointed to learn the thing we are being fearless about is... the boy.

Fifteen. I dunno, man. I was hoping for a little personal growth from the last album but so far we are even more hyper-focused on the date we're going on. This one's a no.

Love Story. This song is the platonic ideal of… this type of song. Absolutely perfect execution. I didn't need 20 other variations on this theme, but here we are. We have already had multiple in-song marriage proposals by this point in the discography. Every Taylor Swift song is *a* love story. Btw, does "you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter" mean what she thinks it means? 😂

Hey Stephen. Are we in love with Stephen? You bet we are. Is this Fearless guy or a new guy? What happened to Drew and Cory? This ode to Stephen is fairly boring. Meh.

White Horse. Uh oh now we're mad at the boy. This is actually nice though, an anti Love Story to balance things out. And she's dumping him! Go girl!

You Belong with Me. Oh no here it is! The song that ruined T.Swift for me for a decade! I just couldn't hear this song without being like "but you ARE cheer captain shut up!" Regardless, I get the idea, it's a cute concept. I think Taylor needs better friends if her bff is the type of guy who would date the cheer captain — who hates his music — presumably just bc she's hot.

Breathe. Colbie Caillat, throwback! I saw the title and thought, I didn't know this song was her! Nope I'm thinking of Breathe by Michelle Branch (2003) which was surprisingly similar in vibe (and also not really for me).

Tell Me Why. Boy is being mean. I feel nothing.

You're Not Sorry. Oh good she's breaking up with the mean boy. Still nothing for me.

The Way I Loved You. Oh this one was so close, threatened to rock a little tiny bit with the intro, and a little marching snare on the second verse... but then didn't quite land for me. I might have to listen to Taylor's version on this one to see if it's better.

Forever & Always. Ah yes, another "I'm waiting at the phone but you never call" song. Guys this is just not my thing. This is not how you raise a generation of strong independent women. At this point I'm mildly irritated.

The Best Day. This is cute. Still somehow kind of meh for me. 

Change. Another strong intro. Some potential here. What is up with the vocals on this track? I would've sent her back for another take. I'll try Taylor's version here too, good bones but just not quite there on execution for me. But this is much more my style, revolution, hallelujah, etc!

Album review: I think this is much worse than the first album. We lost the Michelle Branch Spirit Room vibe and idk what we moved toward. Juvenile lyrics, juvenile melodies, juvenile subject matter, singing's not even really pleasant to listen to. I love "love" as much as the next guy but there is nothing deep going on here. Am I allowed to say... this might be... bad. Sorry Swifties!!! 

Favorite songs: Love Story, White Horse, I'd skip all the rest. (But I will check out Taylor's version of The Way I Loved You and Change just in case.)

Speak Now (Oct 2010)

My age: 21
Taylor's age: 20

Mine. I think I've heard this one. Still country. Still telling literal stories of dating and falling in love. The song itself is better, though!

Sparks Fly. I'm getting just a hint of pop punk Yellowcard influence and I'm here for it. Lyrics are still kind of dumb ("I see sparks fly whenever you smile" doesn't even make sense) but I like the tune OK.

Back to December. I think what doesn't grab me about her lyrics is they're all so dang literal. We are always in a very specific moment in time, I'm standing here, you're standing there, it's raining, we're on the sidewalk, I said this, you said that, then I remembered this one time that this other thing happened, and so on. 

Speak Now. "Boy" and "marrying" in the first four seconds. This one's at least a little more clever though! Am I crazy or is the tune the exact same as You Belong With Me? Idk, could take or leave this one.

Dear John. This one's OK! A smidge more angsty, a couple metaphors even. We're growing a little!

Mean. Banjo! Harmonies! Claps! Fiddle! No sidewalk rain! I like this one. Very charming.

The Story of Us. Strong intro again! Then the music drops out and we are telling a story about a boy, sigh, so many of her songs do this. It's okay, this one's otherwise good! Good beat, good tune. Great lil bridge breakdown! "The end" lolol

Never Grow Up. Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Sorry. This one's sweet, sad, cute, not my style but no complaints on execution.

Enchanted. This one's okay. Good bridge. Running out of new things to say, I have the same overall commentary for all these boy-story songs.

Better than Revenge. I've been waiting for some Paramore influence to show up! "No amount of vintage dresses give you dignity" LOL what! This one's pretty good.

Innocent. Nice, I like this one. Prob her best lyrics yet.

Haunted. She kills me with these epic intros that drop out and then don't really deliver! Whyyy Taylor. This one had potential. It's fine. At least it's a little more open-ended than her typical boy-story song.

Last Kiss. Boy story. Kind of boring too, the words are sad but the music isn't evoking much for me. Least favorite on the album.

Long Live. Dragons!!! I think I've heard this one around. Great concept, doesn't quite land for me, it's like the beat is too slow or something. But we are on the right track!

Album review: Wondering if she got a new producer or something, this one feels much more polished. Still not quite my vibe, songs themselves are getting pretty good but the lyrics/content is still soo "the boy next door who I am dating (or not dating) is everything." But at least we're safely into "not for me" territory instead of "this might be legitimately bad" (sorry Fearless). Will Taylor ever find herself? Let's keep going to find out!

Favorite songs: Mean, The Story of Us, Innocent

Red (Oct 2012)

My age: 23
Taylor's age: 22

State of Grace. Ok here we go. Now we're writing songs. Rubblebucket meets Sweet Disposition. Great song!

Red. Not sure these lyrics quite work for me. Not sure she's quite mastered the use of similes, and the color thing is a little weird. Good tune though! Great bridge, I love a good bridge.

Treacherous. OK: love. First feelings felt all song catalog.

I Knew You Were Trouble. OK but did I mention the goats? Giving this song an actual chance, I think it's totally fine and catchy. I never really had an opinion on it when it was big, we were always too busy laughing at our goat impressions. 😁

All Too Well. So the reason I like this type of storytelling song, and not the earlier boy stories, is it's like little snippets that evoke emotion, rather than just this happened then this then this then this. I also think her singing has gotten better. The scarf! The drums at the end! Great song.

22. Oh hi Ke$ha didn't know you were here too! This is not my jam (Ke$ha but make it High School Musical) but also this feels like a song of a very specific moment in time, so I give it a pass.

I Almost Do. Not grabbing me, but totally fine. It is what it is.

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. Another Ke$ha moment. This isn't as familiar as I thought it'd be, though I remember it being a hit (I may have been firmly in my "turn off Taylor" era). Some parts of this I like, some I don't, it's a wash.

Stay Stay Stay. Uke vibes! Cute. Not really for me, a little too cheesy for my taste.

The Last Time. Dramatic piano! Snow Patrol guy! YES!!! Yeeeessssssss. Surprised this never made its way into my indie-listening realm.

Holy Ground. Okayyyyy love. Great energy.

Sad Beautiful Tragic. Great. "You've got your demons and darlin’ they all look like me" yoooo

The Lucky One. First Britney had "Lucky." Then Miley had a Party in the USA. Now it's Taylor's turn. Oh and verse two gets very specific, I'm sure a Swiftie will tell me what this is about. This song's fine.

Everything Has Changed. Less excited about Ed Sheeran than Snow Patrol guy lol #old. This is fine, not really grabbing me but a perfectly respectable song. Prob the song most like her old albums.

Starlight. Strong intro, thought we were gonna dance, then she did her old thing of the music dropping out and her going into a story, nooo! This one doesn't do it for me, getting a little High School Musical again. "We could get married" nooo we almost made it through the whole album without that bingo square!

Begin Again. We've regressed. Full boy story mode. I walk in. You pull out my chair. Then this. Then this. Not my thing. Also disappointed this is the last song, the last three albums had a big inspiring finish.

Album review: Night and day from the first three. What happened? New co-writer? Got a hot tip from a fellow boy-song hater? Purely self-reflection? Regardless. Big glow-up. Didn't love every song but I did love some songs, which is a start! Weird mix, feels like some but not all the songs were way different from her old stuff.

Favorites: State of Grace, Treacherous, All Too Well, The Last Time

1989 (Oct 2014)

My age: 25
Taylor's age: 24 

Welcome to New York. Well this is different. I'm gonna say it: Gaga would be proud.

Blank Space. Totally fine and good hit for 2014, heyday of Lorde and Lana.

Style. Zero complaints here.

Out of the Woods. This is a jam. It's giving Haim and I'm here for it. Are we out of the boy-story woods, Taylor?? Are we in the clear yet?? GOOD

All You Had to Do Was Stay. Fine!

Shake it Off. Hit #2. I feel like I heard this wayyy more than Blank Space when this album came out, but now I hear Blank Space all the time. Anyway: the drums and horn in this are very up my alley. I hate spoken bits in songs 😂 otherwise a fine hit.

I Wish You Would. A hint of her old boy-stories but it works. Big Haim vibes again. Kind of love this one.

Bad Blood. Hit #3? This one's a little cheesy to me. I love that deep synth tho.

Wildest Dreams. Channeling... Lana? Was this a hit? Do I recognize this? Did I hear it and think it was someone else? Probably. Good song.

How You Get the Girl. Kind of generic but that's ok. Great vibes.

This Love. Really pleasant slow vibes. I'm obsessed with the Stranger Things synth on this album.

I Know Places. Yess getting feisty. Love to see it. This is my vibe, kind of... emo romantic adventure. FAVORITE.

Clean. Goood.

Album review: Finally the glow-up I've been waiting for! She's in her Haim era and I'm here for it. There's boys, but in a much more grown-up, not-desperate way. A very respectable, possibly even great pop album. I wasn't listening to too much pop around this time (I was in my Mumford era) so not sure where the bar is. If you told me this was the best pop album of 2014, I'd be tempted to believe you. Five more albums though, what will happen next?!

Favorite song: I Know Places

Reputation (Nov 2017)

My age: 28
Taylor's age: 27

...Ready For It? Okayyyy. Taylor rap not my favorite but this is a VIBE. Giving a little BLACKPINK.

End Game. Ooh an actual rapper! This is fine, not really my style, perhaps it's swung TOO  popular for me lol

I Did Something Bad. Ok Taylor 🔥🔥🔥

Don't Blame Me. LOVE. I love everything about this.

Delicate. Oooh strong start. Not my favorite but totally fine. “We can't make any promises... but you can make me a drink” 🔥

Look What You Made Me Do. Spicyyy. Man she's really bringing the fire. Get it girl. Welcome to the other side.

So It Goes... Also good. It's got that driving determined energy I really like.

Gorgeous. Not my favorite but no real complaints. Maybe it's because she rhymes "face" with "face". Grew on me by the end.

Getaway Car. Probably great.

King of My Heart. OK but not my fave.

Dancing with Our Hands Tied. Oooh this reminds me of something. It's not Bulletproof by La Roux but it's something like that. The song I’m thinking of goes “lalalala? lalalala?” 😅 Anyway this song is just ok.

Dress. Scandalous, Taylor! This song is fine.

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things. VERY Lorde Royals in the verse. A little on the nose with some of the lyrics. Fine. Not my favorite.

Call It What You Want. Fine song, not my style.

New Year's Day. ❤️

Album review: Really getting somewhere now! I didn't know any of these songs. But also I see how she started going from popular to MEGA popular somewhere in here. I really love some of this, love the energy, but overall 1989 was more my style.

Favorite song: Don't Blame Me

Lover (Aug 2019)

My age: 30
Taylor's age: 29

I Forgot that You Existed. Eh, fine, not my style. Forgettable. I'm still anti talking.

Cruel Summer. Hit alert. You know, it's not really grabbing me for some reason.

Lover. This is v good. But does anyone *not* leave their Christmas lights up till January? 

The Man. Yooooooooooo preach 🤘

The Archer. Umm this is amazing 🏹 this may be my favorite song yet. 

I Think He Knows. I could go either way with this one. Catchy, good beat.

Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince. Totally fine, not my fave, but if every song was my fave then it wouldn't be a faveee

Paper Rings. Catchy! Put this in the dictionary next to "pop song." I like it.

Cornelia Street. Nice. She has really come so far from the old boy-story songs. There's a story in this one too, but now it's lyrical, it's emotional, it's not so literal.

Death by a Thousand Cuts. Nice emo title! This one's just a little weird, which of course means I love it.

London Boy. No complaints here. This could be an early Gaga tune, easily.

Soon You'll Get Better. 😭

False God. Fine this one's good too.

You Need to Calm Down. Legit lol'd at this one. I truly love it. Tattoo these lyrics on my face 🔥🔥🔥

Afterglow. Also good.

ME! Prettyyyyyy cheesy with the "me-hee-hee, hoo-hoo-hoo" and other questionable lyrics (e.g. "you can't spell awesome without me") but strong vibes otherwise.

It's Nice to Have a Friend. Love the indie-alt intro. Really love this one.

Daylight. Also love!!! Sheesh 

Album review: Now this is a POP album. I legit liked it. Some of the songs almost have pop vibes from like late 90s/early 00s but with the musical depth of more modern stuff. Others are very late-2010s. Really no complaints. Three to go!

Favorite song: The Archer

Folklore (Jul 2020)

My age: 31
Taylor's age: 30

the 1. "You know the greatest loves of all time are over now" 🔥 not my fave but totally fine.

cardigan. OK, love (it's so much harder to write about why I like something than why I don't.) I was singing along by the end.

the last great american dynasty. Also love!! Now we're telling stories!! I screamed when she switched to first person!!

exile. Ummm yesssss? Jeez. What.

my tears ricochet. Now I'm starting to feel silly. It's so good. Battleships? Yes girl.

mirrorball. Also love.

seven. Stoppp. big Sufjan - Chicago ("all things go, all things go") vibes. Can I send this to my BFF from age 7 (who I am not in touch with)? S.G. are you reading this?

august. It's giving... At the beginning ("life is a road I wanna keep going, love is a river I wanna keep flowing...") (in a good way).

this is me trying. THESE LYRICS. Also did she fall into old-Taylor for a second for her "flashback"?? omg

illicit affairs. Excellent.

invisible string. "Now I buy them presents" !!!! This song!!!

mad women. STOP IT TAYLOR I CAN’T TAKE ANY MORE 

epiphany. SHE DID NOT JUST SAY "just a flesh wound" !!!!

betty. WHAT!!!

peace. 😭😭😭 Taylor wow I forgive you for everything. 

hoax. Taylor I'm so sorry it took me so long to stop hating you you didn't deserve it 😭

Album review: "OK but at least try Folklore," they said. "Maybe you'd like Folklore," they said. Well, you told me so. My life is changed.

Favorite song: mad women, peace

Evermore (Dec 2020)

My age: 31
Taylor's age: 30 (a few days from 31)

willow. Fine.

champagne problems. Big "Somewhere Only We Know" vibes on the verse. Great.

gold rush. Love. I remember the "my Eagles t-shirt" thing pre-Eagles super bowl, and after listening to her songs up to now, I can't believe anyone ever thought it was the football team and not the band. 😁

'tis the damn season. Boy story but make it realistic? Love.

tolerate it. Incredible pre-breakup song.

no body, no crime. HAIM!!! Wow I totally knew about this (because Haim told me at their concert) and I completely ignored it. I wasn't ready. LOVE.

happiness. Beautiful.

dorothea. Taylor dear I'm pretty sure you are indeed on Dorothea's radar, you’re a little famous.

coney island. NOT THE NATIONAL YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME

ivy. Immediate love.

cowboy like me. Yess girl take back "waiting by the phone!" Love.

long story short. V catchy.

marjorie. Also good.

closure. LOVE!! "I'm fine with my spite and my tears and my beers and my candles." 🔥 🔥 🔥 

evermore. Just beautiful.

Album review: Love. Not *as* earth-shattering as Folklore but still amazing.

Favorite song: Ahh! I don't know! Ask me later.

Midnights (Oct 2022)

My age: 33
Taylor's age: 32

Lavender Haze. Vibe shift, back to pop, but now it’s 2022 and I don’t really like pop as much. No complaints but I would've taken more Folklore/Evermore. This one’s gonna be stuck in my head, though.

Maroon. Color thing still doesn't work for me 😂 otherwise a fine song.

Anti-hero. Aha! Never really listened to this, though obviously have heard “it’s me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me” a million times. It's not quite the vibe I expected! I AM rooting for you, Taylor!

Snow on the Beach. Eh, fine.

You're On Your Own, Kid. I am not feeling the slow-pop boring-pop vibe of this album nearly as much. This one picked up a bit by the end at least.

Midnight Rain. :shrug: it's like, deep I guess but the song doesn’t do much for me.

Question...? Same vibe. It's like, fine.

Vigilante Shit. Great title. I like this one a little more.

Bejeweled. Ehhh… not sure about this one.

Labyrinth. Fine... These songs all run together for me.

Karma. Also fine... maybe this one's a little better?

Sweet Nothings. Cute! I like this one.

Mastermind. Easy favorite. Love.

Album review: This one's overall not really my vibe but I'd still say it's more good than bad, quality-wise. I'd probably only listen at... can I say it... midnights. I suspect if I had started with this album instead of venturing on this entire journey, I might have said I didn’t like it. But here we are!

Favorite song: Mastermind

We made it fam!!! Phew, that was a lot. A lot a lot.

If you read this far (anyone? Bueller?) tell me your favorite song!